Los Angeles April 11 (IANS) Singer Mariah Carey has spoken for the first time about her struggle with bipolar disorder.
"I didn t want to believe it " the singer-songwriter told people.com of the condition which she was first diagnosed with in 2001.
Carey said: "Until recently I lived in denial and isolation and in constant fear someone would expose me."
"It was too heavy a burden to carry and I simply couldn t do that anymore. I sought and received treatment I put positive people around me and I got back to doing what I love - writing songs and making music " added the Grammy winner.
One of the most successful singers of all time Carey spent many of her years in the spotlight suffering in silence.
"I m actually taking medication that seems to be pretty good. It s not making me feel too tired or sluggish or anything like that. Finding the proper balance is what is most important " she said.
"For a long time I thought I had a severe sleep disorder " said Carey now back in the studio working on an album due later this year.
"But it wasn t normal insomnia and I wasn t lying awake counting sheep. I was working and working and working … I was irritable and in constant fear of letting people down. It turns out that I was experiencing a form of mania.
"Eventually I would just hit a wall. I guess my depressive episodes were characterised by having very low energy. I would feel so lonely and sad - even guilty that I wasn t doing what I needed to be doing for my career " she told people.com.
Carey who co-parents her six-year-old twin children Monroe and Moroccan with ex-husband Nick Cannon said she decided to come forward because "I m just in a really good place right now where I m comfortable discussing my struggles with bipolar II disorder".
"I m hopeful we can get to a place where the stigma is lifted from people going through anything alone. It can be incredibly isolating. It does not have to define you and I refuse to allow it to define me or control me " she said.
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