Nikki Bela feels the jitters ahead of wedding to John Cena
On "Total Bellas" Bella found herself pulled in many directions in regards to her wedding plans reports eonline.com.
"I m all sorts of messed up " Nikki said in a therapy session just weeks before her scheduled wedding.
"It s like a hot mess over here " added Nikki who is worried about losing her identity by marrying Cena.
"I want him to live the life he wants and I think that s why I ve always sacrificed for him. I love taking care of people but I think I m so over-pleasing.
"I think it makes me feel like I m going to be forever a wife someone s wife. Like I m not going to be Nicole or Nikki " said Bella who is herself a wrestling star.
She said such feelings had trickled into her professional life as she felt she was only being recognized as "John s fiancee".
"Some of me is like Why did I want marriage so bad? Why am I even doing this? " the reality TV veteran reflected. "Because I don t know how much longer I can go without actually having a big meltdown."
Ultimately she said her concerns were likely a result of pre-wedding jitters but she still wanted to do some "soul-searching."
--IANS rb/vm
