Film: "Siberia"; Director: Matthew Ross; Cast: Keanu Reeves Ana Ularu Pasha D. Lychnikoff and Molly Ringwald Rating: *

Destructive suicidal role selections have brought superstar Keanu Reeves Matrix-manoeuvred marvellous movie career to a grinding halt. "Siberia" is really the end of the road for the doomed Reeves... or is it? With him we never know what depths of destruction he may plumb next.
"Siberia" is not just incomprehensible incoherent pretentious and perverse. It is worse. It s a dreadful dull dishwater-level of filmmaking posturing as something deep dark and cryptic.
Reeves looking thoroughly disoriented travels down to Siberia for a tryst with some diamond merchants. Once in Siberia there is little room for any warm contemplation of the protagonist s predicament as he plunges into a carnal relationship with a cafe owner Katya (Ana Ularu).
I confess I had never watched Alaru s work before. After seeing her in "Siberia" I don t think I missed out on much. In all fairness her unimpressive chemistry with Reeves has a lot to do with the conversations that script forces her to have with the Tall Dark Bewildered stranger. Also the fact that she is at least 20 years her co-star s junior makes her look like a high-school girl taking tuition from her teacher for better grades.
"What would you say if said I wanted to sleep with you?" Alaru asks conversationally.
"You mean now?" stammers Reeves.
He gets an affirmative. He then tells her he can t oblige right away because he needs to go and look for his brother s friend.
Do we really care whether Reeves finds the man he is looking for? Or whether the pair have sex eventually?
For the record they do.
Siberia s snow-capped desolation seems perfect for its lackluster script brimming over with corny lines and weird plot points where we see Reeves locking horns with various high-end ruffians. By the time the narration puts his head into resolving the mess we are long gone looking for ways to kill the ennui that creeps and clamps its clammy claws around our heart.
Never again Mr Reeves I am not sitting through any of your films until you realise being different is different from being indifferent.
And that s a better line than anything I heard in "Siberia". But never visiting that part of the world.

--IANS skj/rb/vm